The Holidays are here and with the holidays come family and with family comes (sometimes) drama.
In the spirit of the holidays and love, this week I would like to take a little time to talk about the importance of keeping some things to yourself.
Communication is tricky and it can get trickier when old memories come up. And even more tricky when you are all in a house together for a week. Our loved ones are our loved ones for a reason–we love them. But sometimes that love gets jumbled in frustration and the need for space.
It is important to tell others how you feel, but sometimes it’s more important to keep your mouth shut. In NO WAY do I recommend suppressing your feelings, but what I do recommend is taking others’ into consideration before you share.
There are 3 ways you can know if it is a time to tell or a time to listen…
1. Is it kind?
Honesty can hurt. But in all cases honesty should be used, but what if the truth is hurtful? Then it’s time for an assessment, the first of which–is what I am about to say kind? Yes, we will have & will again say something that is less-than kind but try to speak from a place of love as much as you can. And if it’s not from a place of love, keeping it to yourself may be the best answer.
2. Do they need to hear this? (AKA is this necessary)
Whoever you are talking to, is this something they need to hear or is this just something that will cause a ripple. Sometimes what you feel you need to say is not what the other needs to hear. Be aware of what lace they are in. This is particularly accurate when it comes to family opinions which invariably differ from yours in someway. They have had a different experience from you. Even if they are not sending love or even if they are being judgmental; being kind to them will make a bigger impact that yelling.
3. Is this selfish?
So often we say things because we want to. It is the ‘i.’ So many things that come out of us are selfish, because we think about ourselves a lot–hey, we’re human! Take a moment and really ask yourself if this is coming from a selfish place. If the answer is yes, it may be best to keep it to yourself.
Communication can be one of the most complicated things all year round and it seems to get exacerbated this time of year. But remember that you have light within you, speak from that place as best you can and I will try to do the same.
Listen more & talk less. Love more & judge less. Give yourself & your loved ones a break this year, and think before you speak.